People Without Faces
by Happyteehee
Summary: Title:"People Without Faces Are the Ones You Should Stay Away From, That's What My Mother Told Me!" Kagura, Shinpachi, Gintoki and Name/reader tries to make Gintoki play a popular game called "Blender", but what happens when it's not just a game anymore...Read and find out! Rated T for language
1. Yorozuya

**Just an idea I got from playing Slender and watching Gintama, I thought it could be fun ^^**  
**Anyway~, hope you guys will like it! :D**  
**Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama, Slender or any other programs, shows or other copyright-stuff! Not even YOU!**

* * *

"Huh? Blender? What's that?"

Gintoki asked while scratching the back of his head. Kagura was sucking on a _sukonbu _and Shinpachi was sipping his cup of tea, while [Name] tried to show Gintoki a new  
game which was the most popular in Edo.

"Yeah! It's a really funny game, I'm sure you won't suck total ass on it!"  
[Name] said enthusiastically and reached Gintoki the Pacbook, Kagura's mouth turned to an 'O', she hurried to Gintoki's side. [1]

"Is this _the_Pacbook?!"[2]

Kagura asked and touched the Pacbook carefully,

"Yeah, I bought it two days ago, it's pretty new and it was cheap since this is an older model, but still pretty functional."

"[Name]-san, how did you afford this? Aren't these really expensive?"

Shinpachi asked. He too was leaning on Gintoki to look at the machine, while the silver haired man sighed and did not look impressed. [Name] got a bit irritated, she  
wanted to brag about it to Gintoki, but he didn't seem to care!

"Oi, why do you have a Pacbook? What's wrong with Bicrosoft? A Hacer wouldn't be bad either, but a Pacbook? You young people only want the new and the best of technology these days. There's nothing wrong with the old stuff you know, the old stuff never did anything to you, you know."[3]

"That's just your opinion, Gin-chan; you're getting older so this talk is normal for an elderly man like yourself."  
Kagura said and patted his permed head,

"But Kagura-chan, Gin-san is an **'s kid, they don't appreciate any of the new stuff. They just complain about how everything was better in the **'s."  
Shinpachi said and pushed up his glasses and looked at the screen.

"What's wrong with being an **'s kid, huh?! At least we appreciated the old stuff like Pigeonmon and Dokémon! Don't underestimate us!"[4]  
Gintoki said and slammed his fist on [Name]'s table, [Name] had been quietly listening to the Yorozuya trio with an expressionless look. Usually she would dive into this sort of discussion, but she wanted to continue her task – the one where Gintoki got so scared he would crap his pants. Yes, the new game "Blender" wasn't popular because of the awesome graphics, the adventures and the characters – no. It was a horror game and a pretty scary one at that. So, when she first heard about the game she knew exactly who she wanted to show it to; the unfortunate man named Sakata Gintoki. However, as things were now it didn't seem like it was going to happen without her taking the first step. She coughed and said with the sweetest smile she could manage,

"Well, I am sure that everyone can say that Bicrosoft is still at their best when it comes to computers, but I wanted to try out Pacbook since it's gotten positive feedbacks."

Gintoki tsk'ed,  
"Whatever….Bicrosoft is still better."

"Sure,"  
you said,  
"but I wanted to show you the new game, anyway. I think this is the sort of game you'd like."

"As long it's not _Love Choris_ or something."  
Gintoki said and was instantly reminded of the incident with ***ko.[5] It had taken a long time before he had gotten back to the real world, it was just that _Love Choris _was fun and the graphics wasn't that bad. It was after Shinpachi found him naked (again) in the bed with the game that he realized he needed to quit.  
[Name] found the game and pressed 'play',

"Oooh~!"  
Kagura and Shinpachi said in unison, Gintoki was still not impressed. On the screen it said: **Collect all 8 pages**. They could hear a girl panting heavily and she was holding a flashlight in front of her which illuminated the dark forest she was in. There was a long fence behind her and tall trees all around her. It was like a horror movie where a young sexy woman is all alone in a dark and dangerous forest where a monster or psychopath hides, and waits for his prey.

"O-Oi, what's with the panting and the scary music? Is this a horror game!? It is, isn't it!?"  
Gintoki said and almost threw the Pacbook away; luckily Kagura grabbed it before it got a flying lesson.

"No! Why would you think that I would ever present a horror game to you, when I know you're scared shitless whenever someone says the word 'ghost'?"  
[Name] said and feigned a hurt expression, but the samurai didn't buy it.

"Of course you did! Last time I was here you told me the ***dge was a story about a Japanese girl who fell down the stairs and got paralyzed! She wasn't paralyzed, you know!"[6]

Gintoki tried to get away from the computer, but he got a glimpse of a tall, lean and faceless man before he could get away. The man who had killed the character. A loud girlish scream were to be heard from [Name] [Last Name]'s house as the head of Blender man was revealed, [Name] herself was lying on the floor laughing out loud.

Kagura and Shinpachi looked at Gintoki with an unimpressed look and turned their heads back to the screen to collect the 8 pages.  
"That's no good, Kagura-chan; you have to go that way."  
Shinpachi instructed, so Kagura spat an insult about his virginity. Gintoki was lying in a fetus position on the floor beneath the window, sobbing. [Name] dried her tears and sat down beside the scared man and patted his shoulder, comforting him.

"Hey, now,"  
[Name] said quietly so the other two wouldn't hear,  
"it's not good to be lying under the window. Blender man might be standing outside looking at you right now."  
She gave him a sweet smile, but he only looked at her with a terrifying look, moaning and then sobbed some more.  
"I hate you sometimes, you know…"  
You chuckled and rose up,  
"Yeah, I'm so lovable."

* * *

The Yorozuya trio was on their way home after finishing the game and had been treated a meal (four if you count Kagura's portions). Gintoki was still thinking about the

long armed and slender man; he could be right around the corner! But the _Danna_wasn't afraid of such childish things, right…Right?

He shook his head and tried to think about the good sleep he was going to have,

"_If not Blender man kills you…." _a voice whispered, he made a strangled noise, but the other two didn't catch it. Gintoki sighed and hoped he could just be home and fall asleep on his comfortable futon.  
Little did he know that a tall, dark and slender figure was following him home.

"Goodnight, Gin-san and Kagura-chan! Sleep tight and don't let the Blender man bite!"  
Shinpachi waved, Gintoki jumped at the mention of the name Blender and Kagura waved back at Shinpachi wishing him a safe trip home.

"Hey, Gin-chan, you look pale. Is there something wrong with your joystick, again?"  
Kagura asked with a concerned look,  
"No! What do you mean with 'again'?! You make it sound like there's usually something wrong with it, but it's fine! Completely fine!"  
He hurried to the bathroom and turned on the shower. He looked down on his crotch, just to be sure...  
"_Hah! I knew there was nothing wrong with it! Stupid Kagura frightening me like that. Not that I was scared or anything, Ahaha…!"_  
He didn't convince himself entirely, but whatever – he was going to take a nice long bath and forget about Blender and Slender men, at least for a while. Or so he thought, while lying in the bathtub all he could think of was the faceless man grabbing him and pushing down, drowning him slowly without a single expression. Sleep didn't come either, he managed to convince Kagura to stay up until morning watching old episodes of _One Park_, but the young Yato girl needed her beauty sleep, so around 5am he was all alone again. He couldn't concentrate on what the episode was about; the feeling of being watched was still there.  
"_Damn it! I'm Sakata Gintoki for crying out loud! I've fought wars, Yato's and Amanto's! Why would a stupid faceless thing scare me?! Haha! Well, not today! I'll take a quick look outside the window, he won't be there, right? W-why would he be haha…?"  
_Gintoki swallowed hard and tiptoed towards the window; he took hold of the curtains and pushed them aside. He shouldn't have done that. He stood perfectly still, staring into the faceless monster on the other side of the window. The faceless monster was much higher than him, the long thin arms stretched toward the window and a big white hand lied on the window pane. Gintoki slowly pulled the curtains back to their old place and then he fainted and hit the floor with a _bang_.  
The tall slender figure turned around and walked in another direction; his next stop was the _Shinsengumi Station_.

* * *

**There's going to be three chapters, 1st with the Yorozuya gang, 2nd with the Shinsengumi and 3rd with both :D**

**[1] - Parody of the name "Slender"**  
**[2] - Parody of Macbook**  
**[3] - Bicrosoft = Microsoft, Hacer = Acer**  
**[4] - Well...Not a very creative name - Dokémon = Pokémon, Piegeonmon - Digimon monsters**  
**[5] - Pinko, from the Love Choris episodes**  
**[6] - simply The Grudge**


	2. Shinsengumi

**Shinsengumi is up! The 3rd chapter will be the last of this little "horror" fic, the Yorozuya and the Shinsengumi unite! **  
**Thank you angelbott and the "guest" for reviewing! It makes me really happy to get feedbacks! :D  
Disclaimer: I still do not own Gintama or any other copyright stuff that I might (or not) get sued for..*swallows* ^^'**

* * *

Kondo Isao sat on the toilet; a mosquito flew by his ear making its recognizable buzz. He swatted it away and looked at the squashed bug in the palm of his hand,  
"Poor thing, you only wants my blood, huh? I understand the feeli-uh? "  
A sound was heard outside the booth; he felt a bit embarrassed about his conversation with the dead mosquito and hoped it wasn't one of his subordinates.  
"Hello? Is there anyone there?"  
The Chief said with a tiny voice, he didn't like being alone at night, especially not when the ghouls and ghosts came out and roamed the Earth, looking for a poor soul to haunt.

Kondo decided to wipe his ass and get out of the bathroom stall,  
"_Yoshi! Finished, but I shouldn't have eaten that donut Sougo gave me. Hehe, that kid sure knows how to joke."_  
He thought to himself and hummed on one of Terakado Tsuu's hit-singles "Omae no Baa–chan Omae no Basshu Haiteta" [1], she was an international star now and everyone loved her strange yet great songs. Kondo had even asked Shimura Shinpachi if he wanted to come with him (to strengthen the bond as brothers, of course) to one of Tsuu's concerts, but the young glasses wearing boy had already bought tickets. Shinpachi said Kondo could join his fan club as long as he threw away any sort of feeling for another girl, but being a man filled with love with a fellow gorilla – he couldn't do it. Hijikata wanted to go, he insisted that Kondo couldn't tell anything to Okita, but he found out anyway.

He pulled his underpants and pants up, flushed and washed his hands all the while being watched by our mysterious tall and lean Blender man. Of course, Kondo didn't realize he was being watched, he replayed the (imaginative) moments he had shared with Shimura Tae.

"Ah~, Love! It's such a wonderful feeling! My Otae-san who shines more beautifully than the stars~!"  
He sang and spun around like a teenaged girl in love, though he stopped spinning when he noticed a white face on the other side of the window looking in. No, _looking_ wouldn't be right – it had no eyes!  
He screamed and hid in the bathroom stall he previously occupied and tried to calm down his nerves.  
"C-calm down, Is-Isao! I-it-it's nothing!"  
Oh, how wrong he was.

* * *

"Eh? Really? Hmm…that's strange."  
Okita mumbled, recently they had gotten phone calls from people claiming a faceless person was stalking them and the police had given the case to the Shinsengumi and now the report was in the hands of the Captain of the first Division, Okita Sougo. Hijikata Toshiro lit up his mayonnaise filled cigarette's and blew an 'O' of smoke.  
Okita pretended to cough,  
"Must you do that inside, Hijikata-san? Not everyone wants to smell like you, mayonnaise is the devil's seed, you know. Maybe you'll get pregnant?"  
He said with a bored tone and an expressionless face, waving the invisible smoke away.

"I don't have to, but as long as it bothers you it makes me happy. Besides, I'm a man, I can't get pregnant. We all learned that when we were young. Ah, I thought you were the devil's spawn?"

"Mayonnaise should be banned, dieHijikatadie."

"Go commit _seppuku_– I'll help you."

"But seriously, Hijikata-san. Who would go around stalking people looking like that character from the new game everyone is talking about? I tried it myself, it's for kids."

"You didn't get hooked on a game again, did you? It was bothersome the last time you did, you managed to get Kondo-san addicted, too."  
Hijikata blew more smoke as he continued to speak,

"Honestly…I don't know, probably some lunatic. We'll just have to catch him; maybe we could use Yamazaki as bait?"  
"Speaking of the devil…"  
Okita said as Yamazaki Sagaru ran into Okita's room, panting heavily,  
"Something happened with the Chief! He's locked himself inside one of the bathroom stalls and he refuses to come out! He says the faceless person will kill him!"

"Oi…Why are you looking at me like that? I'm serious! Vice-Chief, Captain Okita, you have to come quickly!"  
The Mayora and the sadist sighed and followed Yamazaki to the bathroom. Yamazaki didn't lie, the Chief had locked himself inside, and it sounded like he was crying.

"Kondo-san! Everyone thinks you're a coward, there is no faceless person here (except from Hijikata-san, he's faceless and without pride)!"

"Oi! Want me to kill you or what! Kondo-san, come out! You're acting like a kid!"

"Nuh-uh! I don't want to! I'm perfectly fine in here, thank you very much!"

Yamazaki, Hijikata, Okita and three other Shinsengumi members exchanged looks,

"Alright. Nakamura, you sit in here and watch over Kondo-san while we go and check around the premises."

"H-hai!"  
Nakamura said and scratched the back of his head; he wasn't entirely sure why the Vice-Chief would order him to do something like this. Kondo had always thought  
strange things were happening to him and Hijikata usually ignored him, but not this time.

The Shinsengumi members and Okita and Hijikata split up in two, Hijikata was with Okita. He had hoped he'd pair up with either Shoji or Odomaru – sadly that didn't happen.  
"Hijikata-san, if there really is a creature and not just a man; can you be the sacrifice?"

"What the hell?! No! It's just a crazy guy running around and-"

"Actually, people say he just appears, no one have never seen him 'run away'."

"Fine, then! He floats, is that better?"

"Now you're just being ridiculous, Hijikata-san."  
Hijikata was about to threaten Okita, but he was walking in the opposite direction,  
"O-oi, Sougo…where are you going?"  
"Back to my room, I don't want to be around crazy people who reek of mayonnaise."

Hijikata was standing alone in the darkness with nothing but his _Katana_ , mayonnaise looking lighter and a cigarette pack. He sighed and started to walk again, but as soon as the thought of him being completely alone with a faceless man hiding in the shadows-  
"Ah! Seriously! I'm the fucking Demon Vice-Chief, faceless beings should be afraid of me!"  
He said and threw the mayolighter on the ground, he gasped and picked up the lighter again, cradling in his arms.

"Alright, you're fine, you're okay. Everything's fine and nothing's broken…"  
He tried to light up another cigarette, but stopped when he could hear someone rustling in the bushes,  
"_It's probably just Sougo trying to scare me…Heh, I'll have the jump on him this time."  
_  
He thought and grinned; he tiptoed towards the bushes and struck his hands forward, yanked the person out of the bushes and yelled triumphantly:  
"HAHA! GOT YOU NOW, YOU SICK SON OF—"

What Hijikata thought was Okita, was in reality the faceless man he had been hunting down. He stared at the white face, just now he realized how big the thing was – it must have been at least 2 meters long.

"Ah, _jama shite sumimasen._"[3]  
Hijikata said and let go of the tall thing and ran as fast as he could, Okita who had been watching from behind one of the houses had a smirk on his face. The Vice-Chief was getting closer and closer, he was running towards Okita – so Okita did what he would usually do; bug Hijikata. He breathed heavily and said in a quiet tone right about when Hijikata ran past;

"I'm here~."  
And with that the Demon Vice-Chief of the Shinsengumi fell flat on his face with his cigarette sticking out of his mouth. Okita could see all of the white in Hijikata's eyes and the smoke coming out from his nose and mouth. He chuckled and said,  
"Well, well, Hijikata-san~, seems like the Blender man got you."

* * *

Yamazaki had switched places with Nakamura who couldn't stand listening to the sobbing Chief any longer. Suddenly he could hear voices in the yard where the Vice-Chief and Captain Okita had been walking around, he told Kondo about it, but he got no response. He could hear the Chief snore and Yamazaki sighed,  
"_Oh, well…The Chief must be exhausted, he's been running all over town today and now this happened, too. Good grief."_  
Yamazaki walked outside and asked Harada what the big commotion was all about [2],  
"It's the Vice-Chief. Captain Okita found him in the bushes; apparently he got scared and…peed his pants."  
Yamazaki made a disgusted face,  
"Eh?! The Vice-Chief did what?!"  
He looked at Okita who looked very pleased for some reason, it didn't take Yamazaki a long time before he figured out exactly what happened to the Vice-Chief, but he kept silent as he didn't want to be on Okita's bad side. That was never a good idea.  
"Captain Okita, I think we might need some help here, I mean, if there really is someone (or something) walking around scaring ,and maybe hurting, people – we're going to need some professional help."  
"You read my thoughts."  
"No, I'm pretty sure you didn't think that. I'm pretty sure you were thinking something S-like."  
Yamazaki said and sweated a little.  
"Harada-san, call _Danna_, he might be able to help out. Besides, Hijikata-san doesn't like him very much."[4]

* * *

**Lolololol! I just looove~ making fun of Hijikata and putting him in weird situations x] **

**Also, I was listening to some disturbing music while writing this o_O...It was _The Chordettes - Mr. Sandman...Yeah, I don't know why, but that song freaks me out. _=_=**

**[1]Omae no Baa–chan Omae no Basshu Haiteta - I honestly don't know what it means, but it's something about "your grandma", lol!**  
**[2] Harada Unoske is the bald guy in the Shinsengumi**  
**[3] _J__ama shite sumimasen_ I'm sorry, I bothered you. It's said very politely and it reminded me of episode 20 x]**  
**[4]Danna - lord,boss. It's what Okita calls Gintoki, sort of sweet that he respects him (to a certain degree) ^^**


	3. Old Strawberry Milk & Squirting Mayo

**3rd chapter! **  
**Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama or anything else I haven't made in this fic! **  
**If I had the mind of Sorachi-sama I'd be so happy...**

* * *

Shinpachi opened the door to the Yorozuya residence and greeted the sleepy duo,  
"Good morning!"  
Kagura yawned and gulped down a bowl of rice.

"Good? Ahaha…Sure, if you say so, Patsuan."  
Gintoki said, he looked really tired. Shinpachi thought Kagura probably had kept him up all night again, but shouldn't she be as tired as him, then?

"At least the two of you are up, I'm impressed you guys!"  
Shinpachi took a seat next to the Yato girl and grabbed a bowl for himself,  
"Gin-san, something wrong?"

Gintoki looked up, he spoke in a small voice,  
"N-no, just tired of the filth in this world you know. All the faceless people walking around like ghosts (not that ghosts exist or anything)."

Shinpachi exchanged a look with Kagura, she waved her hand as if she was saying:  
"_It's probably nothing!"_  
"Ah, okay, then. By the way have you guys hear Otsuu-chan's new song, it's really great! I think it might-"  
Shinpachi was interrupted by the phone ringing, he put the bowl of rice down and went to the phone (since Gintoki only stared down at his bowl of rice and chewed very slowly),  
"Hello, this is _Yorozuya Gin-chan_, you're speaking to Shinpachi."  
Shinpachi said in a cheery tone,  
"_Hey, Shinpachi-kun, is _Danna_ available? Ah, it's Okita, by the way."  
_Said the monotone voice of Okita Sougo.

"Ah~! Uhm,"  
Shinpachi looked at the machine-like Gintoki,  
"he's not in at the moment, Ahaha… But you can tell me and I'll pass it on to Gin-san."  
"Well, could you tell him to come by the Shinsengumi, you guys are the only ones who's desperate enough to help us out with this sort of…stuff."  
"Uhm, thanks, I guess? Sure' I'll tell him, we'll be there soon."  
It was silent on the other side for a few seconds before Okita replied  
"M'kay."  
_Click._

Shinpachi sighed, pushed up his glasses and looked at Gintoki with a stern gaze.  
"Gin-san. We got work."  
Kagura jumped off the couch and ran into the bathroom, after a minute or so she was back and dressed for a new adventure. Or something…  
"Who called, Shinpachi?"  
Kagura asked Shinpachi, he debated with himself if he should tell her _Bakaiser_ called or a member from the Shinsengumi. [1]  
"No one special, certainly not a sadist. Just someone who needed help, so come on! If we're going to be able to earn money and pay the rent we're going to have to work! No more dillydallying! Gin-san, shouldn't you be setting a good example for us?"  
Gintoki looked at his two younger subordinates; he sighed and looked out the window thinking about the faceless person who visited him a few nights ago. The job was probably some lost cat, nothing to be afraid of, like he would be anyway!  
"S-sure, come on, let's go do this thing!"  
He tried; Kagura picked her nose and flicked the booger of on Shinpachi who didn't notice,  
"Gin-chan, did you hit your head or something? You're acting weird."  
She said and called for Sadaharu who answered with an "wan" and the two was outside.  
Shinpachi followed with the booger on top of his head, smiling.  
"Ah, please let it be something like a missing cat!"  
He said to himself as he looked around, just in case someone was watching him, but he couldn't see anyone or anything. He sighed in relief and followed after Kagura and Shinpachi,  
_"It was probably the strawberry milk I drank, it must have gone bad or something. Yeah, it was probably that!"_  
He thought.

* * *

"You called these idiots?"  
Harada asked with a disbelieving look, Gintoki and Kagura was picking their nose and Shinpachi seemed really uncomfortable,  
"Are you sure, Captain Okita? I mean – look at them!"  
He whispered to Okita who was chewing bubblegum and blowing gum bubbles,  
"Nah, they'll be okay and if something happens, no one will miss them. We can bury them in the backyard."  
"So, what do you need help with?"  
Shinpachi asked, he had heard what the young Captain had said, but he ignored it considering it was Okita.  
"Come in so you can see for yourselves."  
He said with a smirk, it ran cold down Shinpachi's back, but it seemed like Kagura and Gintoki was unaffected. What they saw was unexpected (Gintoki thought it was hilarious), Shinpachi and Kagura gasped as they looked at the Chief of the Shinsengumi lying on his futon, shaking and repeating;  
"Not my face, not my face" over and over.  
"What happened to him, consumed to many bananas?"  
Gintoki asked as he picked his nose and flicked it on one of the Shinsengumi members.  
"_Danna_, it's not funny, do you know how bad this makes the Shinsengumi look? Our Chief is lying on the floor shaking and repeating crazy stuff. And he only eat two bananas each day."  
"Relax, Soichiro-kun." [2]  
"It's Okita."  
"Whatever, I don't see any difference, except from that he used to say 'Otae' instead of not my fac…"  
Gintoki thought about his encounter with the faceless man, he got a feeling (as he looked at it) that  
what Kondo was chanting was what he had felt. As he looked at the faceless man he had not only felt fear, but he had felt that it was going to take his face. He shook it off,  
"_Yeah, right~…"_  
He thought, Okita was looking at him with an expressionless face. Gintoki coughed and continued,  
"Anyway, where is the mayo-freak? Why couldn't he handle this sort of thing?"  
"Hijikata-san is sick; he said that he got the stomachaches that have been going around."  
Kagura clicked her tongue,  
"That's no good, he won't find a fine woman if he keeps acting like a lazy bum. That's why Gin-chan's single, stupid lazy ass."  
Kagura said and spit towards Gintoki who backed away from the spitting girl.  
"Stop it, Kagura-chan! Okita-san, could we talk to Hijikata-san? Maybe he could help us?"  
Shinpachi said, he wanted to get this job over with and get out of the Shinsengumi premise.  
"Sure, he's probably just lying around watching some _ecchi_ stuff."[3]  
"You don't think much of your boss; do you, Okita-san?"  
Shinpachi mumbled, Kagura was poking Kondo in the cheek rather harshly as Gintoki and Shinpachi walked towards the bedroom which belonged to the Demon Vice-Chief. Gintoki was still thinking about the faceless man and Kondo; he was even more convinced now that they should have declined the sadist's proposal. But they needed the money to be able to have a workplace, although they didn't really work at the Yorozuya residence that much. Lately it had been cats, cats and more missing cats. He would take those jobs over this one, he concluded. Okita knocked two times, entered and said;  
"We're coming in, Hijikata-san; don't squirt any mayonnaise on us."  
A bottle flew towards the door, it was an empty mayonnaise bottle,  
"Why would I 'squirt' mayonnaise on you, idiot!?"  
"I thought your body would be full of mayonnaise by now, you are what you eat, right?"  
"Why would that make me squ- never mind! What is it that you want?"  
Hijikata asked annoyed, he was wearing his civilian clothes and he had taken some days off. Not because of the incident with the guy he met, of course not! He was just…tired, yes, tired was what he was.  
"About the man you saw, the one who scared you so much that you locked yourself in here. That thing, so I called _Danna_ and the other two to help out."  
"I wasn't scared!"  
"Sure~."  
Okita and Gintoki said in unison, smirking down at the sitting and now red Hijikata, he stuttered,  
"Sh-shut up! So, tell me, what do you know about this freak?"  
"Huh? We know as much as you do, idiot. Have the mayonnaise blocked out some of the parts of your brain or what?"  
Gintoki said and snorted, he felt a little better as he saw how the Vice-Chief was acting. Hijikata chose to ignore the silver haired man,  
"He's apparently been seen skulking around people's houses, and they said he would look at them, but he had no face."  
Hijikata swallowed a little harder and louder than he wanted,  
"He wears a black suit, with black pants, white shirt and a black tie. A classy dude, although he probably has some sort of problem or maybe he just enjoys scaring people, I don't know. Let's just find him and find out what sort of issues he got."  
"Are you going to join us?"  
Shinpachi asked with a smile, Hijikata looked at the boy for a while and nodded,  
"Y-yeah, of course! Why would I let you guys do the entire job, it would probably be done half-assed anyway."  
"Sure, sure, it's soo much better to have an incompetent police officer with us. That's _really_ reassuring."  
Gintoki said, smearing on with sarcasm,  
"I don't want to hear that from someone who hunts down cats for a living."  
"Oi! Don't look down on a hard-working man! I've got two kids and they got to eat!"  
"Actually, Gin-san, you never pay us and it's usually either Otose-san or [Name]-san who gives us food."  
Shinpachi said, he gave Gintoki an accusing look, but the Yorozuya boss rolled his eyes,  
"Nobody's perfect."  
Gintoki said and shrugged. Shinpachi sighed and sat down on the opposite side of Hijikata,  
"How are we going to do this? Should we split up and look for him? He can be anywhere!"  
Okita snickered,  
"It's easy; we'll use bait, of course."  
He grinned towards Hijikata and Gintoki; they both felt a cold run down their spines.

* * *

[Name] sat in her living room and drank tea, outside it was pouring down. It felt nice to be alone and just relax, watch some TV and just be alone. Still, it felt pretty lonely being alone. She was used to Kagura's many questions about Earth and the human traditions, Shinpachi's straight man lines and breakdowns; even Gintoki's fawning over the weather girl. It was weird; she hadn't heard anything from them for a while. Usually Kagura would call her and tell her about what they had done, but [Name] hadn't gotten one call from Kagura.  
"_I'll call them after _C. Clay-man_; they're probably busy working..."_ [4]  
[Name] turned on the TV, found the right channel and grabbed a blanket. Tonight they showed the last episode, it was only reruns, but [Name] was a fan so she wanted to watch it. She could watch it over and over again. The intro song played its tune,  
"Oh, the popcorn!"  
She exclaimed, she ran into the kitchen and found the big white bowl of popcorn, hurried back to the living room and jumped down in the couch. Some of the popcorn fell on the floor and the couch,  
"_I'll pick it up later._"  
She thought and on the candy, giggling the whole time. When the episode was finished, she cleaned up the popcorn on the floor; she had already eaten the ones which lay in the couch. Someone knocked on the door, making an awful a lot of noise.  
She walked to the door, opened it and said;  
"Yes, may I he-"  
The thing towered over her, its shadow towered over her and everything was dark. She could hear it breathe heavily, but her gaze never left its head. It reached out its big white hand towards her face and drew its finger down her face. [Name] had never felt this cold in her entire life, she froze completely; she couldn't think, couldn't speak and even if she could, she wouldn't know what to say to this creepy classy thing. One thing was for certain, she recognized him, and she could never forget that voice.  
"**[Name]…Help me…****"**

* * *

**Alright, I'm going to upload 4 chapters instead due to the fact that I hate to write long chapters. Don't know when I'll be able to upload again, but I'm sure this fic will be finished by this week or the beginning of the next. I hope so...  
[1] - From episode 202 or 203, maybe both?**  
**[2] - Yagami Light's father**  
**[3] - Ecchi - perverted stuff**  
**[4] - Parody of -man**


	4. You Shouldn't Judge A Book By Its Cover

**Last chapter, promise! x] **  
**Disclaimer: I still don't own Gintama or anything else except _some_ of the concepts in this fic!**

* * *

"But daddy, I'm not tired!"  
A little girl said to her father, he smiled at his daughter and placed the blanket over her,

"Is that so? Want to hear a goodnight story before you go to sleep?"  
"Yes, but make it scary. I like scary stories."

The little girl propped her hand up and rested her head on it; her father opened the window and let the evening breeze enter the room. He took up her teddy bear and placed it in front of her, she hugged it tightly and waited excitedly on her father (who sat down beside her _futon_on a pillow) to start talking.

"Once upon a time there were a shy little boy who was very different from other children."  
"I thought you were going to tell a scary story?"  
"It will be, every story has a beginning, sweetie."  
The girl nodded her head and sighed, she loved that her father took time after a long day out on the strawberry field to spend time with her, even though it was at night she was still happy.

_The boy used to have a friend, an invisible friend, but one day his friend disappeared. He looked everywhere, around his house, the temple school, the playground – he even looked down in the basement! However, the boy's father told him later that the reason for his friend vanishing was because the boy had gotten old. He didn't need an imaginary friend anymore due to the fact he had turned 10. The boy felt very lonely, he didn't have any other friends, and so one day his grandmother sowed him a 'magic' doll._

"His name is

Yasou Hisoka_, he is very shy so be nice." _[1]

She had told him,

"But

Ba-chan_, I saw you sowed him and why is he wearing a suit, why not a kimono?"_[2]

At this his Ba-chan chuckled at him and pinched his cheeks, he hated that. He thanked her and went outside to play with Hisoka-kun. He had never had this much fun, his

Ba-chan was right! Hisoka-kun was magical; he made the boy laugh, they went on adventures together and even built a tree house together. As the boy grew, so did

Hisoka-kun – only that he became much taller and leaner. He had the same face as he always had – none. From the day Hisoka-kun was made he had never had a nose,

no eyes, mouth, lips, hair or a nose! But the boy didn't care about the magical dolls face, he had a friend who always was there for him and that was enough. When the

boy reached manhood, he had long-forgotten about his childhood friend who still followed him around. The strange thing was that the boy, who know was a man, didn't

remember his face at all so Hisoka-kun was very sad. Hisoka-kun wandered alone until the boy had become an old man and when he was on his death bed, he wanted to

see Hisoka-kun and as an obedient and patient friend – the magical doll came to see his old friend. They shared their last laugh together and the now old man

remembered everything about Hisoka-kun. He asked if Hisoka-kun could watch over his grandson, which he did, and 'til this day Hisoka-kun have stayed with the family.

"What?! Hisoka-kun is Blendy?!"

The girl yelled,

"Yes, he was my friend and now he's you-"

"I don't want to be friends with Blendy, he scares me!"

She said and pouted.

"But [Name]-chan…He'll always look after you whenever we can't. He'll always be around to watch over you."

"That's what's creepy about him…"

[Name]'s father laughed and kissed her on the top of her head,

"Goodnight, my dear."

"But you didn't tell a scary story!"

"Goodnight, [Name]."

"Goodnight, daddy…"

* * *

"Do you know how much this will cost you? If we die we'll just come back and haunt you and then you'll think back and say; _Oh, we shouldn't have sacrificed Gin-san, he was sooo cool~!_"

Gintoki said,

"Be quiet, you idiot! Oi, Sougo, let us down – now! This isn't a good way to catch this freak!"

Hijikata hollered, Okita sucked on a grape flavored _Chuubert_, he didn't care what these idiots thought. He, at least, was enjoying himself, plus he didn't have to share his

_Chuubert_with anyone (even though Kagura tried to kill him, just so she could have it herself). [3]

They were dangling upside down, tied up pretty tightly and they also thought they could hear something from the bushes…

"Well, then, I'll just leave the two of you here; alone in the park with that faceless dude walking around. Good luck~."

Okita turned around from the wriggling and shouting tied up guys, with a smirk and a new _Chuubert_.

"H-he really left, I can't believe he left! How can someone be so cruel?!"

Gintoki asked and tried to wriggle loose, but it was to no vain.

"It's Sougo, he loves to torture people. Not that I'm afraid or anything, but did you hear anything from that tree over there? Is there something on it?"

"…Don't mess around! There's probably no one here at this time, except from MADAO's and bums. I'm not afraid either!"

The wriggling stopped and the only thing which could be heard was the wind blowing in the trees, making them sway and made them look like they were dancing.

Suddenly, they could hear a branch start to break and soon they were lying on their face, the branch had been broken by their weights.

"Tch! He could at least have chosen a stronger branch. Always doing it half-assed…"

Hijikata murmured. Gintoki lifted up his shirt to see if the rope had left any marks on his body. There were red lines around his stomach and back,

"Oi, oi, do this look bad?"

He asked and turned around to show it to Hijikata,

"What the hell?! Don't do that here! People might get the wrong idea, you moron!"

Gintoki pouted and pulled down his shirt,

"I didn't know you were so uncertain about your sexuality, Oogushi-kun. I thought you were popular with the ladies, or maybe it was the _okamas_?"[4-5]

Gintoki said and smirked, the mayo-man blushed and growled, he couldn't find a good argument to shoot back at the perm head and it pissed him off. Hijikata was still

curious about the paper he thought he saw – he wanted to have a closer look at that tree.

"Oi, I think there's something on that tree over there."

He said and pointed in the same direction, Gintoki followed Hijikata's finger and saw something, too.

"Okay."

"Huh?"

"What do you mean with 'huh'? I said 'okay', fine, whatever! Go and check it then, I'll sit here and think about this figure you saw."

Hijikata swore under his breath that if Gintoki got any lazier he would become a vegetable, and tramped over to the tree and he was right; someone had used an old nail

to keep the paper up, it was rusty, so rusty it almost looked red. He read it and grabbed it with shaking hands; the unlit cigarette fell from his lips to the ground.

"I'm watching you – I know your plans."

It said. He walked in a quick pace back to the bench where the samurai lied; he showed the paper in front of his face so he could "see it".

"Oi, oi, did you write this for me? You're making me blush, Oogushi-kun."

Gintoki said in a teasing matter, he stopped grinning when he actually read what it said on the note. He didn't know why, but he turned around the paper anyway. He

shouldn't have done that, now the message only looked even creepier. He coughed and said in a small and shaky voice;

"O-Oogushi-kun, your drawings really suck…I don't care for these sorts of drawings, you know. They're damn right disturbing, you know."

"I didn't! It's obviously _that_guy, it has to be."

They both stared at the drawing of the two of them hanging upside down with the faceless man behind the tree,

"Hey…"

Gintoki started, Hijikata looked at him – Gintoki had a serious expression, it wasn't an expression he had seen the perm head wear, except from when he was fighting.

"What?"

"Does my hair really look like this? It's not this fluffy…Damn it, why did I have to be cursed with this hairdo."

He sobbed, Hijikata hit him hard in the head,

"Is that what you're worried about?! Your stupid hair?! Are you really that egoistic? You must be an idiot, a huge-ass idiot!"

"At least I don't have 'mayo-stains' on my floor, you creep!"

They started to punch each other and had long forgotten about the purpose of this failed stake-out. Hijikata punched Gintoki on the mouth, while Gintoki rewarded him

with a kick in the stomach – and they continued like this for about 15 minutes. That's when they started to verbally abuse each other, all sorts of colorful things were said

so if it were to be written down this story would have changed its rating to M.

* * *

"What did you say?! You left Gin-chan with Mayora?!"

Kagura asked angrily, she was holding Okita by his jacket and he had his hands on her wrists.

"Relax, China. And get your smelly hands of me, you ****."

"Shut up, you ***, *** and ****!"

She said and threw him at the wall, but Okita's reflexes were golden. He managed to land on his foot and knee, he leaped forwards and was about to strike and Kagura

ran towards him, as well. However, Yamazaki stepped in the middle and was thrown out of the room they currently were in. He landed with his head in the ground and

(somehow) Okita's sword stuck up in his anus.

"Why do you two always have to fight? Can't you two stop it for one day?"

Shinpachi said and sighed, he turned around to face Kondo; he had gotten better, but he still wouldn't go to the bathroom alone and he wouldn't look out any windows  
either.

"Anyway, what were you saying again, Kondo-san?"

Kondo sighed,

"I swear, whatever this thing is; it's not human. The feelings I had when I first saw it was coldness and loneliness."

"That's not because of that thing, Kondo-san. You had just eaten ice cream and that gorilla woman turned your proposal down again."

Kondo decided to ignore Okita,

"It could be an Amanto with super-powers, but we can't be sure. This thing might be dangerous."

"What happened exactly?"

Shinpachi, Okita and Kagura was all looking at the gorilla who was now blushing and turned his face away from theirs.

"…I... Fainted."

"What?! It was scary, I was so scared! I thought it was going to take my face off and use it for itself!"

Kagura stifled a laugh and Okita said;

"I don't think he would want your face, Kondo-san."

Kondo's eyes filled up with tears,

"Soouugooo! Why are you so mean?!"

Shinpachi sighed heavily and stepped outside. He noticed Yamazaki who now had gotten his head out of the ground.

"Yamazaki-san, are you alright?"

Yamazaki brushed away the sand and dust, he nodded reassuringly to Shinpachi,

"Yeah, I'm fine! Thanks, Shinpachi-kun. Those two really have a thing for each other, huh?"

"I'm not even sure what that might be…"

Shinpachi said and thought about the horrifying scenarios if those two were to engage in a romantic relationship. He shivered at the thought.

"I hope we can catch this guy, what if he hurts somebody?"

"Relax, Shinpachi-kun. The Vice-Chief and _Danna_is on the case, they'll manage it."

Yamazaki put a hand on Shinpachi's shoulder and squeezed it, he smiled.

"Yeah….But somehow that doesn't sound reassuring, those two can be such idiots some times."

Yamazaki and Shinpachi shared a laugh together, and then they both sighed and went inside to the crying Kondo and the fighting Yato and sadist.

* * *

Both Gintoki and Hijikata were panting heavily, leaning on each side of the bench. They looked at each other and said in unison "Tch!" and looked away, again. On the other side of the park our mysterious friend was lurking around. He found the two amusing – they were so similar, yet so different. He had been watching them the whole time, and now he was debating with himself about walking up to them and say 'hello'. He hoped they wouldn't faint again, they probably wouldn't. He took a shot and walked towards the two idiots, from someone else's point of view it would have looked like he floated over the green grass. Like a ghost.

Hijikata snapped one of the unlit cigarettes for the third time, his hands were shaking,

"_Probably because I haven't got lit any of these…"_

he thought. He managed to lit the fourth one with luck and inhaled deeply, he exhaled and crossed his right leg over the other, trying to relax after the verbal and physical

fight. Gintoki leaned his head on his hand with a pouting look, he hated to be stuck with the mayonnaise man, and he wanted to get a drink of warm and sweet cup of

_sake_.

"Ah-aah~, I want to go home and lay down on my _futon_, pull the covers over me and just sleep… Why did you have to drag me into this?"

Gintoki whined, he scratched the back of his head and yawned,

"Do you think that I wanted to be stuck here with you? Tch! I do have other important stuff to do, you know."

Hijikata responded. He glared at the former _Joui_patriot, why did he have to "team up" with this guy?

The air got suddenly very cold, the hair on their backs stood straight up and both had an unwanted feeling of turning around their head to see if there was someone or

_something_behind them.

"It's pretty chilly tonight, isn't it?"

Hijikata said with a shaky voice,

"You're right, Oogushi-kun, it really is!"

Gintoki responded with a small voice.

Someone was tapping at their shoulders; both turned their heads very slowly, first at each other than at the very tall man/thing behind them.

"_Kon-konbanwa…._" [6]

They said in unison, it looked like the thing gave them a nod, but that wasn't for certain. Both stamped their feet in the ground and were about to leap away from the

figure behind them, but two strong and long hands were resting on their shoulders.

"**Please sit.**"

A raspy voice almost whispered, it sounded a bit feminine. A man with a feminine voice that was what it sounded like.

"S-sure…"

They both said in unison, again.

"_OI! WHAT THE HELL SHOULD WE DOOO?! HE'S HOLDING US BACK, WE CAN'T ESCAPE!"_

"Ca-calm down, it will be fine, we'll just have to find an excuse!"

"Great, you do that, Followkata-kun! I'll cheer you on!"

Hijikata growled and cleared his throat, gave the hand a look and said in a polite manner,

"Wh-what may we help you with?"

"_You mean just 'you' when you said 'we', right?_"

"**Need…**"

"Need what?!"

Gintoki asked in a not-so-polite manner, Hijikata shot him a glare then looked back at the faceless thing which looked so scary at the moment.

"**Food**…"

It was after that sentence that the funny duo ran as fast as they could and in the process; they ran over [Name]. She screamed; fell to the ground with two very terrified

guys on top of her. They started to argue while lying on top of her,

"Hey! I wouldn't mind having you two on top of me, but this time I'd like to get up and check if I'm bleeding anywhere…"

she said with a twitching eye. Hijikata got off of [Name] first and then Gintoki, Hijikata was the one who reached out a hand and helped her up. They both had weird looks

and both were sweating heavily, she held her hand on the bruise on her head she had gotten and gave the two men an accusing look.

"What's with you guys anyway? And a more important question is why the hell are you here – together? Is it the apocalypse or something?"

Hijikata and Gintoki glared daggers at each other and then said in unison;

"No, we're hunting."

"Sure… Hunting for what, exactly?"

"Be-beetles."

She nodded and leaned to the side, Blendy came floating towards them and [Name] figured out the situation. She mouthed an 'O' and smirked. She removed her hand

from the head and automatically checked her hand to see if there were any blood there, luckily it wasn't. Gintoki turned his head slightly to see if the weird guy/thing was

following them – indeed it was. His hand flew to Hijikata's shoulder and tapped it hard,

"What?"

He said and turned around, he started to breathe out (but not in) heavily and it sounded like his lunges was collapsing. Both turned to [Name] and tried to explain the

danger they would soon be in.

"**[Name]**…"

"Oh God, it knows your name, it knows your name!"

Gintoki said and walked behind her, Hijikata followed after and stood behind her, as well.

[Name] could feel a headache come and decided to stop this nonsense about the faceless ghost-like thing who apparently scared people.

"Hey, Blendy! Come over here, we're cool about it!"

She said and waved at him with a smile, Hijikata and Gintoki both looked at her as if she was crazy, they were convinced that she had to be.

"What are you doing?! Stop it! Don't make him come over here!"

Hijikata whispered harshly in her ear, Gintoki was on the other side and whispered,

"I'll never forget about this – your sacrifice won't be in vain!"  
_  
Blendy_was now standing in front of the three and stretched out his large hand, placed it on [Name]'s shoulder, the other two guys eyes could have popped out if they got

any bigger.

"Hi, there! Uhm,"  
she started and grabbed Blendy's hand in her own and stood next to him and turned to Hijikata and Gintoki,  
"this is an old friend of mine. He's been a friend of our family for a while…"

She told the story her father told her when she was a little girl, however; Blendy was actually an Amanto and the doll was based on him. [Name] took the two men and

the Amanto to a ramen shop and bought food for all four. Blendy was actually very shy and though Gintoki and Hijikata still was freaked out by the fact that a faceless

being could be considered a friend – a family friend, at that.

After the dinner they went to the Shinsengumi station and told the others about it. Kondo apologized to Blendy and told him that he only _pretended_to be scared, which

no one bought.

Kagura, Shinpachi and Gintoki followed [Name] and Blendy back to her apartment.

"You never told me you had a friend like this?"

Gintoki said to [Name], they were walking behind Blendy, Kagura and Shinpachi who bombarded the faceless Amanto with all sorts of questions.

"Well, the thing is that I sort of forgot about him…Or I didn't forget about him, I just didn't find a right time to tell you or anyone that I had a friend without a face. I think

it's funny that you fainted by the sight of him, though, classic Gin-san!"

She said and laughed; Gintoki said "Tch" and mumbled some inappropriate words. A lot of weird stuff had been happening lately, but weird stuff usually happened around

here and he wouldn't want it any other way. Maybe not such a scary thing as Blendy, because that really scared the shit out of him.

* * *

**Okay~! Finished! Halfway through this last chapter I got writer's block, so if it seems a little rushed or just bad – tell me, please! If not, then thank you for reading :D I'm also writing on an OkiKagu fic, I'm not sure if I should post it or not, I've never written about those two together in a romantic way. But I'll see how it turns out, if it's bad then it won't be posted (duh) and if it's just okay – then it probably be posted just so I can post something :p**

**[1] - Hisoka means reserved, while Yasou means calm or tranquil. I thought it sort of fit ^^**  
**[2] - Ba-chan: granny or grandma**  
**[3] - Chuubert is the sucking thingy...if you can't remember search on Google (I'm a bit lazy, sorry)**  
**[4] - Oogushi-kun is Hijikata according to Gintoki.**  
**[5] - Okama - transvestite**  
**[6] - Konbanwa - good evening, both Hiji and Gin said that to the mosquito woman-thing from ep 20, so I thought it would be fun to bring that back**

**Again, thank you guys for reading this and thank you to angelbott and KyaChann for reviewing :D and the others of course the guest who reviewed it first ^^ Thanks!**


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